8

People who haven't grown hair in their pits do not need cellphones. Yet.

Junior is probably the only kid in his class who doesn't own a cellphone. Not because I'm a cheap ass parent, I just don't see why a 9 year old kid needs one. Maybe in 5 years time, when I'd lie in my bed, not sleeping, tearing my hair out, wondering whether he's out there having an innocent night out with friends or impregnating some nubile young women.